It’s Not Selfish to Put Yourself First…It’s Necessary

It’s Not Selfish to Put Yourself First…It’s Necessary
17 Aug 2015

Putting yourself first doesn’t mean only caring about yourself. It means having a grounded and clear understanding that your cup of life has to be full and running over for you to effectively serve others. It means to be rooted in yourself first with intentionality and control before there’s any possibility of lending yourself to anybody or anything else. And it’s not selfish; it’s actually necessary.

Do you ever feel like you need a vacation from your life or need a retreat from daily mental and physical stress? If you said “No”, this is great! You are doing all of the right things for your wellbeing. If you said “Yes” then putting yourself first is the key.

As mothers, wives, business owners, employees, friends, dreamers, activists, etc., we sometimes subconsciously and most times, consciously have conflicting views about honoring and nurturing ourselves first. There is something mentally that tells women that we are here to serve; therefore this perception is often misconstrued. We use it is as a way to negate our physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

Eighty five percent of my clients have challenges with putting themselves first. It is wonderful to be of service to others, but if it is at the expense of your own wellbeing, is that the best way to live life? If you want to balance this out, identify activities that you thoroughly enjoy and spend time daily creating healthy habits that support nurturing yourself – even if it is 15-30 minutes per day. Know that you are more than worth it.

You can offer more to others when you have habits that ensure you feel empowered, energized and healthy (physically, emotionally and spiritually). The more you create healthy habits the more it becomes second nature and a lifestyle. We often hear the benefits of  the importance of healthy habits like practicing meditation, cooking non-processed and whole meals, and maintaining a peaceful mental state. How often do we make time to do this? When we are well, it rubs off on others directly or indirectly.

Hands down you are more emotionally stable when you take the time to create a system that offers you what you need. This removes the feelings of disappointment or lack of appreciation that occur when you have certain expectations of others. It keeps you from being a victim when your needs not being met nor considered by others. It allows you to know you are a priority and the things you need are available for you.

This in turn removes stress placed on others because of your expectations. The moment you expect others to act a specific way and they don’t, is the moment you give up your power.

I always ask my clients to consider the cost of putting themselves last; is that what they really want?

How will putting yourself first support you and those who are connected to you?

Photo by Pascal

Renee Miller Clayton

Renee, MBA is the Managing Director and Executive Coach of Remember Who You Are Enterprises. She is a graduate of Accomplishing Coaching, an ICF certified leadership and ontological coaching training program. Renee has served as a Mentor Coach. She continues to work with the best and brightest in the professional and leadership development field. Additionally, she is an artist, national and international traveler, and music lover.

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