5 Reasons I Un-Friended 500 Facebook “Friends”

5 Reasons I Un-Friended 500 Friends on Facebook
10 Nov 2013

The "7-Year-Itch" is real. About every seven years, I get the itch to shed my old skin and start a new chapter. This newest chapter in my book has been about me claiming and walking in my God-given power. Which means that I no longer subscribe to the idea of being a people-pleaser, “yes”-woman, or doing things just because other people think I should.

When it dawned on me that I had unintentionally given away my power by allowing people in my space that had either lost the right to be there or had never earned it to begin with, it forced me to re-think some of my decisions, especially when it came to my circle of friends—online and otherwise. It was time to purge. And I started with Facebook. In the process of going through my list and un-friending 500+ "Friends" (yeah…it took awhile), I realized that:

  1. I’d outgrown many of those relationships. There were people who were part of my last chapter that just weren’t meant to finish the rest of the book with me. As Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “For everything there is a season…” Their season in my life was over.
  2. I only wanted to be surrounded by positive people. When you get to a certain place in your life where you’re on fire with passion for your purpose, you find that you only want people who are going to make a positive contribution to that energy. My rule of thumb is that if they leave you feeling down and icky, then it’s time to either cut them off or limit your interaction with them.
  3. I no longer wanted to do things out of obligation. Do you ever find yourself saying, “Well, we know so many people in common and they made the effort to reach out. I really should accept their friend request.” Nope. No more of that. You should only want to connect with people because you want to, not because you feel obligated to.
  4. I didn't want everyone in my business. I remember when I first joined Facebook, it was a popularity contest to see how many “Friends” you could collect. But the thing is, you don’t know much about them, and yet they have access (even with privacy settings that are disappearing faster than Usain Bolt) to a whole lot of your personal thoughts and information. The older I get, the more I realize that it’s more important to have a few really good friends, than it is to have hundreds of fair-weather ones.
  5. I wanted to make room for new relationships, blessings and ideas to flow. I’ve learned that if you keep holding on to those things that God has told you to let go of, you’re squeezing out the amazing blessings that want to take their place. As one quote I recently read stated so well: “Cutting people out of my life does not mean that I hate them, it simply means I respect me.” ‘Nuff said.

The process of un-friending folks was surprisingly cleansing and especially empowering. It was like letting go of unnecessary baggage I didn’t even know I was carrying. Talk about extreme weight loss… Man, I should have done that sooner! If you’re in a place in your life where you’re re-inventing yourself and re-evaluating your relationships, this would be a great place to start. There’s no time like the present to re-think the kind of energy you allow in your circle as you boldly and fearlessly live out your purpose.

Have you ever had those moments that made you realize it was time to purge your circle of friends? What did you learn about yourself through the process? Leave your comments below!



Julian B. Kiganda

I hope you enjoyed this post! A little about me: I’m the founder of Bold & Fearless and a Transformational Brand Strategist. My gifting is in helping purpose-driven women transform and build million-dollar brands. I’m also an author, transformational speaker and multi-passionate entrepreneur. In 2014, I published my first highly-acclaimed book co-authored with my sister: Whose Shoes Are You Wearing? 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be available on Barnes & Noble and Amazon. To learn more about how you can connect or work with me, visit www.julianbkiganda.com.


  1. Anastasia Says: March 10, 2015 at 2:55 am

    This is empowering, thanks Julian, I say its empowering because I have had instamces where I feel like its time to “detox” because some of the relationships are toxic. But then, I sit down and think but this person did not do anything in particular for me to just cut them off. You just gave me some reasons, especially for me to succeed, I need to “loss the weight”

    • Julian B. Kiganda Says: March 10, 2015 at 1:06 pm

      I’m so glad you found this article useful! You will see what a difference in makes in your life when you begin “detoxing” and becoming more deliberate about the company you keep. Keep shining!

  2. Julian B. Kiganda Says: November 12, 2013 at 2:30 am

    So true, Christine! I consider this the fastest weight-loss program ever…

  3. This was a great piece. Everyone is in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Numbers 1 & 2 have been my philosophy this year and thus, I've also lost some "weight" because of it.

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