5 Ways You’re Giving Away Your Power
17 Feb 2014
Do you ever wonder how some people, regardless of the situation, almost always manage to get what they want? Have you tried to figure out why one person, who may have all the talent in the world, never gets the same opportunities as someone else who may not be as gifted, but knows how to get the right doors to open for them? And why is it that no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to make any real progress towards your goals?
The answer all comes down to the same thing: understanding and claiming your God-given power. Over the course of studying how successful people (success not necessarily having to do with how much money you make) get things done, I have recognized that for those who know how to walk in that power—anything is possible. And for those who stay stuck, it’s because we’ve given that power away by:
Not saying NO. How many times have you said “yes” when you really wanted to yell “No”? And then you become resentful towards others over a decision you made? We all have choices. Choose to make the right one the next time someone asks you to do something you know will either drain you or go against what your spirit tells you is right for you.
Not asking for help. You’re heading up a project that requires support from your team. Instead of asking for help, you stress yourself by trying to do it all because you think you have to carry the whole thing on your shoulders. This can also be true in your personal life. You’re afraid of rejection so you don’t ask. Whether in your personal or professional life, if you don’t ask, the answer will always be “no.” You might be surprised: some people are probably just waiting for you to ask for their help.
Not demanding respect. I have a particular girlfriend who, when she walks into any room she commands the kind of respect that lets you know—without her saying a word—you better show her respect, or else. And she gets it. It took a long time for me to understand that if you don’t demand respect from your first interaction with someone and expect it throughout your relationship, you risk being taken advantage of—and will eventually become resentful.
Not setting boundaries. How many times have you sat down to enjoy doing whatever it is you enjoy, only to get an urgent call that leads to your getting involved in someone else’s emergency because of their own poor planning. Did you realize that you actually have a choice as to whether or not to respond to that “emergency” call? If you don’t learn to set boundaries, you will always fall victim to someone else’s needs, whims, and “urgencies.”
- Not asking for what you’re worth. Having been in business for 14+ years, I have looked back on certain projects where I didn’t ask for what I should have. I was afraid that if I charged more than the client wanted to pay, I would risk losing out on the opportunity. Then I'd become resentful when I lost money on the contract. But guess what? I had no one to blame but myself. When was the last time you evaluated what you’re really worth and then been bold enough to ask for it? People will almost always give you what you ask for if you’re bringing them value.
More often than not, we stand in our own way because we’re not willing to be bold enough to take back our own God-given power. We allow our fears to keep us stuck in a cycle of insanity (doing the same thing and expecting different results). I promise you: if you start believing less in your doubts and more in yourself and your ability to fulfill your purpose, you will find it easier to say no, set boundaries, ask for help, demand respect and ask for what you’re worth. Your life is what you make it. Make it powerfully lived.
Julian B. Kiganda
I hope you enjoyed this post! A little about me: I’m the founder of Bold & Fearless and a Transformational Brand Strategist. My gifting is in helping purpose-driven women transform and build million-dollar brands. I’m also an author, transformational speaker and multi-passionate entrepreneur. In 2014, I published my first highly-acclaimed book co-authored with my sister: Whose Shoes Are You Wearing? 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be available on Barnes & Noble and Amazon. To learn more about how you can connect or work with me, visit www.julianbkiganda.com.